Your Child - Your Divorce

Child support advocate and enforcement veteran Vanessa Diaz has compiled a list of tips for parents who are considering a divorce for how to best plan ahead for the collection of child support. With government child support enforcement agencies struggling with a backlog of over 15 million cases of unpaid child support, difficulties in collecting the money owed to America’s children are all too common. Planning ahead - before and during a divorce - can help avoid years of frustration.

“In many cases following a divorce, the non-custodial parent starts paying child support, but then stops abruptly. Oftentimes they disappear or find ways to hide income,” Vanessa Diaz, vice president of Supportkids, said. “I had to learn these lessons the hard way in my own life and have since devoted my career to helping others in their child support struggles.”

The following are some important tips from Diaz:

1. Make sure you understand what is in your divorce decree - especially the order for child support.

2. Keep accurate records of all child support received.

3. Be sure you have copies of your children’s birth certificates and a copy of the court order.

4. Knowing how to find the non-custodial parent is a key factor in ensuring that child support payments are made regularly, as is detailed knowledge about income sources. Maintain records about the non-custodial parent, including:

a. Current and/or recent addresses
b. Social security number
c. Current and recent employers
d. Names and contact information of friends, relatives and organizations to which he or she might belong
e. Information about his or her income and assets (pay slips, tax returns, bank accounts, investments, property holdings, etc.).

5. Understand your options for getting help in child support collections should the need arise. Most people start with their government agency. Other options include legal aid, private attorneys, online resources and private agencies.

6. Don’t use your kids as pawns for negotiation with the non-custodial parent. Keep your child’s well-being and the child support issue separate.

7. Educate yourself. The child support laws are different in each state, so be sure you’re familiar with the laws that apply in your case.

8. Advocate for your family. The longer your family goes without the child support owed, the more difficult it will be to collect. Be proactive in seeking out the money that is owed
to your children.

 
Vanessa Diaz is a vice president with Supportkids (and a former client). The company was founded to assist custodial parents who have sought help from government agencies and others but have not received the child support owed them. The company offers a risk-free alternative to custodial parents working to raise their families, often on a single income or by working two jobs. All cases are handled on a contingency basis; the company does not receive payment until child support is collected.

About Supportkids

With clients all across the nation, Supportkids uses on-site investigators and cooperation with state and federal agencies to fulfill its mission to make a difference for families struggling with the issue of unpaid child support. For more information, visit the company’s website at http://www.supportkids.com.

What is a “no fault” divorce?
“No fault” divorce describes any divorce where the spouse asking for a divorce does not have to prove that the other spouse did something wrong. All states allow no fault divorces.

To get a no fault divorce, one spouse must simply state a reason for the divorce that is recognized by the state. In most states, it’s enough to declare that the couple cannot get along (this reason goes by such names as “incompatibility,” “irreconcilable differences,” or “irremediable breakdown of the marriage”).

In some states, however, the couple must live apart for a period of months or years before they can obtain a no fault divorce.

What is a “fault” divorce?
A fault divorce may be granted when the required grounds are present and at least one spouse asks that the divorce be granted on the grounds of fault. Only some states allow fault divorces.

The traditional fault grounds are:

• cruelty (inflicting unnecessary emotional or physical pain) — this is the most frequently used ground for divorce
• adultery
• desertion for a specified length of time
• confinement in prison for a set number of years, and
• physical inability to engage in sexual intercourse, if it was not disclosed before marriage.

Why choose a fault divorce? Some people don’t want to wait out the period of separation required by their state’s law for a no fault divorce. And, in some states, a spouse who proves the other’s fault may receive a greater share of the marital property or more alimony.

What if both spouses are at fault? When both parties have shown grounds for divorce, the court will grant a divorce to the spouse who is least at fault under a doctrine called “comparative rectitude.” Years ago, when both parties were at fault, neither was entitled to a divorce. The absurdity of this result gave rise to the concept of comparative rectitude.

Can a spouse successfully prevent a court from granting a divorce?
One spouse cannot stop a no fault divorce. Objecting to the other spouse’s request for divorce is itself an irreconcilable difference that would justify the divorce.

A spouse can prevent a fault divorce, however, by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. In addition, several other defenses to a divorce may be possible:

• Condonation. Condonation is someone’s approval of another’s activities. For example, a wife who does not object to her husband’s adultery may be said to condone it. If the wife sues her husband for divorce, claiming he has committed adultery, the husband may argue as a defense that she condoned his behavior.
• Connivance. Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits a wrongdoing. For example, a wife who invites her husband’s lover to the house and then leaves for the weekend may be said to have connived his adultery. If the wife sues her husband for divorce, claiming he has committed adultery, the husband may argue as a defense that she connived — that is, set up — his actions.
• Provocation. Provocation is the inciting of another to do a certain act. If a spouse suing for divorce claims that the other spouse abandoned her, her spouse might defend the suit on the ground that she provoked the abandonment.
• Collusion. If a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a long time and the couple doesn’t want to wait, they might pretend that one of them was at fault in order to manufacture a ground for divorce. This is called collusion, because they are cooperating in order to mislead the judge. If one spouse decides he no longer wants a divorce (before the divorce is granted), he could raise the collusion as a defense.
  But these defenses are rarely used — for a couple of practical reasons. First, proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense. Second, your efforts will likely come to nothing. Chances are good that a court will eventually grant the divorce, because there is a strong public policy against forcing people to stay married when they don’t wish to be.

Do I have to live in a state to get a divorce there?
All states require a spouse to be a resident of the state — often for at least six months and sometimes for as long as one year — before filing for a divorce there. Someone who files for divorce must offer proof that he or she has resided there for the required length of time. Only three states — Alaska, South Dakota, and Washington — have no statutory requirement for resident status. In other words, being a resident at the time you file is enough.

If you think that your spouse may file for divorce in another state, it may be prudent to spend the money up front and file first — in your home state. Rarely is a divorce settled in one court appearance, and, if your spouse files elsewhere, you could rack up a lot of traveling expenses. Also, any modifications to the divorce decree, including the property settlement agreement and arrangements for child custody and support, must be filed in the original state. This could keep you traveling out of state for years to come, especially if you have children with your spouse.

Can an out-of-state divorce be enforced?
If one spouse meets the residency requirement of a state or country (such as having lived there from six months to a year), a divorce obtained there is valid, even if the other spouse lives somewhere else. The courts of all states will recognize the divorce.

However, decisions a court makes regarding property division, alimony, custody, and child support may not be valid unless the court had jurisdiction over the nonresident spouse. The court gets jurisdiction when the nonresident spouse is personally served with the divorce documents (meaning they are delivered into the person’s hands), or consents to jurisdiction. A nonresident spouse consents to jurisdiction by showing up at a court date or signing an affidavit of service, acknowledging receipt of the filed legal documents. It can also happen if the nonresident spouse abides by the rulings of the court; for example, by paying court-ordered child support.

If you receive documents from a foreign country, you may want to consult an attorney about whether your state court or the foreign court governs the issues. This depends on many factors, such as which particular country is involved, where the parties lived and for how long, and, of course, whether children are involved.

SOURCE: Nolo

On the home page of my website I have a quote saying “Over 60% of re-marriages end in re-divorce.”  I frequently get asked, “Why is the divorce rate higher?”  People state confusion over this because they believe that since they’ve been divorced once before, they’ll know the danger signs to look for and they are more determined to have what they call a “successful” marriage.  All of that sounds good, but let’s look at what the realities are.  The following are some of the most common reasons for a higher divorce rate in remarriage.

A remarriage has one of the same partners who were present in your last marriage.  Most people don’t take the time to evaluate WHAT went wrong.  They just assume the problem was the WHO.  Unfortunately that’s not the case.  It’s important to look at what happened to cause the marriage to deteriorate.  While it’s tempting to assume that your ex-spouse was the problem, they weren’t 100% responsible.  Without taking time to look at YOUR part in the marriage’s demise, you are destined to repeat the similar, if not the same, mistakes.

A divorce experience doesn’t suddenly reveal special awareness of relationships danger signs.  Unfortunately, people jump into new relationships way too quickly after their divorce.  They are not truly prepared to be in a committed relationship in the way that a new marriage requires.  Most people are still reeling from the many changes and/or losses they experienced as a result of their divorce.  Continuing to be wrapped up in what happened in your last marriage doesn’t build a stable foundation for a new marriage.

Remarriage commitment is less than a first marriage.  By virtue of a marriage being a remarriage, it means one member of the couple has been married before.  If the previous marriage ended in divorce that means a conscious decision was made to terminate the marriage.  That’s a boundary which was crossed over.  After that boundary is breached once, it is much easier to come to that conclusion again.  Divorce isn’t an unknown entity.  You may not have liked it but you endured it.  Because of this, it becomes a more viable option than it did in a first marriage when things get rough.

A step family is an unknown in our society.  Step families are quickly becoming the most common family unit, but does anyone have a clue how they are supposed work?  We still base our ideas of family on the old standard of a nuclear family (mom, dad, and their biological children.)  A step family does NOT fit this mold.  When new step families see that their family doesn’t come close to resembling what they expected, it’s common for them to start questioning their decision to remarry.

Divorce is painful.  There’s no getting around it.  You hurt, you ex-spouse hurts, and your children hurt.  Rather than running to the altar because you’re “in love”, take time to step back and prepare.  Don’t put yourself and your children through the pain of another divorce.  Be wiser.  Be a better partner rather than just looking for a better one.  

Visit www.remarriagesuccess.com/ for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for a successful remarriage. I invite you to register today for your free 5 day e-course focusing specifically on other differences you will encounter in a remarriage versus your first marrige at www.remarriagesuccess.com/e-course.htm. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at where she encourages your feedback and suggestions.

When mom and dad have two different homes, the emotional frustration from the child caught in between is unfortunately inevitable. This frustration is brought to life through the eyes of a sweet school-aged girl in DK Simoneau’s new book, We’re Having a Tuesday.

The book tells a heart-warming tale of the fantasies children of divorce too often experience of trying to re-combine together the two worlds they love so much. The beautifully illustrated book (hat tip to Brad Cornelius) also includes a “fill-in-the-blank” section designed to enhance communication between the parent and child.

DK Simoneau is a divorced mother of two. Visit her website for more information about this charming book and other relevant resources.

SOURCE: Christian Science Monitor 

Sixteen months after his divorce, Richard Parker made a devastating discovery. A DNA test revealed that his 3-year-old son had been fathered by someone else.

Mr. Parker immediately filed a lawsuit claiming fraud by his apparently unfaithful ex-wife. He took his case all the way to the Florida Supreme Court. Last week, the Florida justices ruled 7-0 against him. They said that Parker must continue to pay $1,200 a month in child support because he had missed the one-year postdivorce deadline for filing his lawsuit. His court-ordered payments would total more than $200,000 over 15 years to support another man’s child.

“We find that the balance of policy considerations favors protecting the best interests of the child over protecting the interests of one parent defrauded by the other parent in the midst of a divorce proceeding,” writes Justice Kenneth Bell for the court.

“We recognize that the former husband in this case may feel victimized,” he writes. He then quotes a scholar to explain the ruling: “While some individuals are innocent victims of deceptive partners, adults are aware of the high incidence of infidelity and only they, not the children, are able to act to ensure that the biological ties they may deem essential are present.” In effect, the high court is saying it’s partly Parker’s fault for trusting his wife.

 The Parker case illustrates an increasingly contentious debate over the rights and responsibilities of divorced fathers who have been duped and don’t challenge paternity at or near the time of divorce. But it also raises fundamental questions about the nature of fatherhood and the legal responsibilities that can attach to a father-child relationship – even when that relationship is the result of fraud and deception by a wife and mother.

Most states have laws that permit courts to order men who have been deceived to continue to make child- support payments even when they have no biological connection to the child. The idea is to minimize any disruption in the life of the child. In recent years, some states have begun passing laws that give deceived dads some ways to fight back.

There are no reliable estimates of how often “paternity fraud” takes place. Some findings suggest 4 to 10 percent of fathers, but no definitive study has been completed. Unlike most duped ex-husbands in the US, Parker may still prevail in court. Last summer the Florida legislature passed a law that allows men to use newly discovered paternity evidence (like Parker’s DNA test results) to overturn a court order to pay child support for someone else’s child.

The June 2006 law is aimed at preventing the kind of outcome ordered by the Florida Supreme Court. The policy approach taken by the Florida Legislature stands in sharp contrast to the “policy considerations” cited by the state supreme court justices.

Supporters of the Florida law see it as a major step toward justice for deceived ex-husbands. Critics see it as a potential danger to the well-being of mothers and their vulnerable children.

In addition to Florida, Ohio, Georgia, Maryland, Alabama, Indiana, Virginia, Arizona, and Wyoming have laws allowing ex-husbands to overturn a child-support order when deception or fraud by an ex-wife is discovered, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. By contrast, most other states set a one- to four-year deadline for fathers to file lawsuits challenging paternity determinations.

The idea behind the deadline is that any action taken in a marriage breakup should be completed while the child is as young as possible to avoid a major disruption during the most formative years.

“We don’t want a system where a child is 10 years old and you have people who come in and undo what has been put in place many years before,” says Susan Paikin of the Center for the Support of Families in Silver Spring, Md.

Ms. Paikin says that it is up to the adults in the relationship to thoroughly investigate any paternity issues at the time of the divorce.

But fathers’ rights advocates say that few husbands are aware of a paternity deadline and its legal implications. And many have no idea that their wives have been unfaithful. In generations past such infidelity might have gone undetected. But the advent of DNA testing is changing that. It is giving new momentum to a debate over how best to provide for broken families.

“There is no perfect answer,” says Paikin. “There are a lot of people who will argue that it is always in the child’s best interest to have a relationship with the biological parent and that should override everything else. There are others who believe just as fervently that being a parent has more to do with being caring and nurturing, and that is what makes you a father.”

Part of the difficulty in paternity disestablishment cases is that once the financial contribution of the nonbiological father is terminated, the courts do not recognize a legal right to continued contact between the child and the man.

“It is the ultimate Catch-22 for my client,” says Parker’s lawyer, Scott Lazar of Miami. “On the one hand he has a relationship with this child and cares about this child and would probably be willing to provide money for this child, but he doesn’t want to provide it to the mother to use as she wishes.”

Family court judges aren’t interested in fostering a continuing relationship between men and the children of their ex-wives, says Carnell Smith, who runs a DNA-testing company and is founder of Atlanta-based US Citizens Against Paternity Fraud. “The court is only concerned about financial payments.”

Judges generally view the man in a divorce proceeding as nothing more than a “walking checkbook,” he says.

Smith says that instead of targeting deceived ex-husbands, the legal system should investigate the conduct of the wife and hold the mother and biological father responsible for the child they produced.

“In no other area of the law do we punish the victim for the conduct of two other people,” Smith says. “For me it is disingenuous for the Florida justices to turn around and say [to Parker] ‘Well, it is your fault that you didn’t find out sooner.’ ”

The Florida legislature tried to balance the law to avoid forcing children onto welfare rolls, says Tom Sasser, chairman of the family-law section of the Florida Bar. It rejected a proposal to allow ex-husbands to recover prior child-support payments. It also rejected a proposal to allow triple damages against deceptive mothers. Instead, the law allows ex-husbands to be released from future payments.

And that, advocates say, opens the door for some ex-husbands to attempt to build a trusting relationship with someone new and perhaps start a family without the burden of a court-imposed financial debt hanging over his new wife and children.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers is a great resource for information about divorce and children. This article contains some very important information for divorcing parents: Divorce is never easy on kids, but there are many ways parents can help lessen the impact of their break-up on their children:

Never disparage your former spouse in front of your children. Because children know they are “part mom” and “part dad”, the criticism can batter the child’s self-esteem.

Do not use your children as messengers between you and your former spouse. The less the children feel a part of the battle between their parents, the better.

Reassure your children that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Many children assume that they are to blame for their parent’s hostility.

Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Do everything within your power to accommodate the visitation.

At every step during your divorce, remind yourself that your children’s interests – not yours – are paramount, and act accordingly. Lavish them with love at each opportunity.

Your children may be tempted to act as your caretaker. Resist the temptation to let them. Let your peers, adult family members, and mental health professionals be your counselors and sounding board. Let your children be children.

If you have a drinking or drug problem, get counseling right away. An impairment inhibits your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need at this difficult time.

If you are the non-custodial parent, pay your child support. The loss of income facing many children after divorce puts them at a financial disadvantage that has a pervasive effect on the rest of their lives.

If you are the custodial parent and you are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. It feeds into the child’s sense of abandonment and further erodes his or her stability.

If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their residence and school life helps buffer children from the trauma of their parent’s divorce.

SOURCE: Darn Divorce

This touching letter was written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, courtesy of the Jerusalem Post, who cries out to Britney Spears and addresses important issues regarding the effects of divorce on children and our responsibilities as parents:

Dear Britney, - I’m writing to you not as a fan, because I am not that knowledgeable about your career. Less so am I one who follows your personal life, because aside from high-profile stories about a lack of undergarments and your pending divorce, I don’t know that much about you. Rather, I am writing as a fellow parent.

I understand that of late you’ve developed an interest in Judaism and have been sporting a Magen David. That’s nice. I hope that in Judaism you will find inspiration and direction for your life. So allow me to share with you a teaching of the ancient rabbis: Who is wise? One who sees the outcome of one’s actions.

You have two children, I have eight. I am sure that we share in common an infinite love for our kids. That you had children early in your career always impressed me. It meant that you knew what was truly valuable in life. Other starlets postpone having a family because it might interfere with the endless accumulation of fame and money. But you took time off from a successful career to be marry and become a mom. That shows character.

BUT ONCE you become a parent, Britney, life gets really serious. Everything you do impacts on your children. Whether you are at home at night or at some nightclub matters. Whether you are in a stable relationship or switch men regularly will determine the stability of your children’s environment. And whether you have a good name or a bad name directly affects the choices your children will make.

We can all pretend that life is one big party devoid of responsibility. But when we have children the illusion abruptly ends. And rarely being home, or coming home drunk, or letting your kids see you in a degraded state, will permanently scar your kids.

Few things are more pleasurable in life than feeling that you are your child’s hero. I still remember when my eldest daughter composed her college entrance essay. She wrote how she had learned from her father not to waste time and that every moment counted.

When I read that, I was walking on air. Wow, I was her role model. But, conversely, I remember how I recently lost my temper at another daughter and yelled at her. I humiliated myself in front of my precious little girl, and I felt sad and pathetic.

You have to start thinking about these things, Britney. Your actions have always affected the public. Your manner of dress has influenced many young girls to copy you. Truth be told, it doesn’t seem like you have ever really cared about the negative impact you’ve had on those girls. OK, I get it, they’re strangers. Why should you care about them?

But you now have two very young, innocent sons. It’s already going to be pretty tough on them, seeing that they will never have any recollection of their parents being together. All they’ll ever know is the divorce.

DIVORCE is hard on kids, Britney. I should know. My parents divorced when I was a boy of eight. That’s why it’s incumbent upon parents to do their best in the wake of a divorce to give their kids all the stability they can.

But you’re making it that much harder on your boys by allowing yourself to become a negative caricature.

It’s amazing how fast our kids grow up. Soon your boys will be surfing the Internet. They’ll see a lot of photos of you in poses that no son should ever see his mother. The fact that so many young boys around America might download such pictures may not bother you. But one day these boys may be your own children, and that would be unconscionable.

I understand that Madonna is a friend of yours. I have to confess, I have always harbored a bit of a grudge against her, which would seem foreign to someone like me because Madonna studies Kabbala, visited Israel, and seems to love Jews and Judaism. So why am I not more appreciative?

Well, for many years Madonna vulgarized our culture, exposed her body to America’s teenagers and generally portrayed women in a highly degrading light. But after she became a mom, she moved to England, essentially complaining that America was too decrepit a culture to raise kids.

That’s a bit unfair. When it was our kids, she didn’t mind corrupting them. But when it was hers, she fled to a safer environment.

SO I BESEECH you, Britney. You’re a very popular entertainer. Please act in a manner that will be an inspiration both to your kids and to ours.

You’re young enough to make real changes in your life, changes that would benefit you and your environment. You’re a woman of great influence, and what you say and do matters. Here are a few brief suggestions:

Try and be home with your kids at least five nights a week. I realize you are single now and would like to date. That’s understandable. No woman should have to be alone. But why not go out after the kids are in bed, or on weekends?

Have a relationship with a man who respects you and keep that relationship out of the public eye. This way you’ll be able to tell whether he’s dating you because he loves you or because he can get publicity off you.

Make sure your kids have a healthy relationship with their father. I realize you and Kevin Federline may be fighting over money right now. But don’t let the kids suffer because of it. Even after divorce, kids need two parents.

COVER UP. Try and dress in a manner that, should you have daughters, you would want them to dress. Modesty will lend you dignity, as Madonna has discovered.

Limit the visits to the nightclubs. They’re often meat markets that aren’t conducive to dignified living. Also, it messes up your next day, seeing as they only get going very late at night. And people drink pretty heavily at clubs. As a mom you have serious responsibilities that alcohol can impair.

I know you can get your life together, Britney. You’ve shown real promise in the past. And as the Jewish sage Hillel said, “And if not me, then who? And if not now, when?”

God bless you,

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

The writer hosts “Shalom in the Home” on the The Learning Channel and is the author of Ten Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children.

As many of you are preparing to re-marry, you probably have expectations of what life will be like with your new spouse and new family. You’re thinking something along the lines of “happily ever after” perhaps? Sorry to burst your bubble but let’s take time out for a quick reality check.

People rarely have a clue what a relationship with a step-child will be like. It’s not because we’re stupid. It’s just that there aren’t any guide books for step families. We just assume it’s ok to play by biological family rules. This leads to many false assumptions. Today, I’d like to look at some of the most common and present a more realistic view of what you’re likely to experience.

1. I get along fine with the children now, so our relationship will only improve once I’m married to their parent.

• Children view their relationship with you VERY differently once you are married to their parent. Things are permanent now. Any hopes they may have been holding onto about mom and dad reconciling are dead, and you’re a part of that death. This quite obviously can cause serious resentment.

2. The kids are only over every other weekend. That shouldn’t cause much of a disruption to our home life.

• Just because a child is over every other weekend, doesn’t mean they can’t wreak havoc on your home and life. I receive tons of questions from fledgling step-parents struggling with what to do to manage what they view as the “disruption” to their lives when the kids come to visit. It’s not that they don’t like the kids, it’s just that their usual schedule gets turned topsy turvy.

3. My partner loves me, so naturally the kids will too.

• Nowhere does it say that just because a child’s parent loves you, that they have to. Many kids have the opinion that they already have 2 parents and they aren’t interested in having any more. Your goal should be for a civil, friendly relationship rather than one full of love. If you get love, great! But, don’t count on it.

4. I’m an adult… How tough can it be to win a kid over?

• It can be VERY difficult to “win over” a step-child. The problem is your attitude. It’s really a manipulative one. Rather than “win” them over, the focus needs to be on being present in their lives and slowly trying to build a relationship with them.

5. I won’t have to be the “bad guy” with these kids. My spouse will take care of all the discipline.

• While this SHOULD be the way things go, it rarely does. Most of the time single parents are so happy to have another adult in the house, they expect that person to step in and share the responsibility of discipline.

6. My new spouse will make sure the kids treat me with respect.

• This is another one that SHOULD happen, but unfortunately a lot of parents are still wrestling with a sense of guilt over breaking up the family. The guilt continues as the parent feels that the children are being forced into a new and different family. A lot of times this guilt plays out by parents not requiring their children to treat the new member of the family (that would be you, by the way) with the respect they deserve.

There are a lot of factors that determine what your relationship with your step-child will look like. Today we looked at the most typical of reactions. Want to find out other differences to expect in a remarriage? If so, I’d like to invite you to visit www.RemarriageSuccess.com/e-course.htm to register for our free 5 day e-course focusing specifically on what the differences are. You can also visit www.RemarriageSuccess.com for additional information and resources on how to prepare as a couple and a family for remarriage. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at www.RemarriageSuccess.com/contact.htm where she encourages your feedback and suggestions.

When parents come to an agreement on a detailed parenting plan that reflects the overall best interest of their child they will often enjoy a more stable, predictable, and consistent schedule by reducing the amount of misunderstandings, conflicts, and legal costs often associated with litigation and the courts. A parenting plan is a document that is created in the context of a child custody matter to help the parents outline a parenting schedule, which may include a description of their timeshare with their child and each parent’s responsibilities to raise their child.

How can parents and their children benefit from a detailed parenting plan? Creating a detailed parenting plan can provide predictability in the parenting schedule for both the parents and their child. This allows the parents to make plans for their child and implement a regular and consistent parenting routine for him/her. A child who knows in advance which parent he/she will be with and what he/she will be doing can feel more secure, stable, and self-confident than a child who is left constantly worrying and wondering where he/she will go and what he/she will be doing.

How can a detailed parenting plan reduce my legal costs? Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings between the parents and the conflicts parents often face with ambiguous parenting schedules. Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the potential for disagreements between the parents thereby helping the parents stay out of court and away from litigation. Over time, parents who have a detailed parenting plan in place typically experience lower legal fees and attorney costs, which are often associated with high-conflict child custody disputes and protracted child custody litigation.

Although a detailed parenting plan will generally benefit both the parents and children involved in a divorce and child custody dispute, you would be wise to consult an attorney to learn where you stand legally on your particular matter and to learn if a detailed parenting plan is the best approach for your situation before entering into any sort of proposed parenting plan agreement.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody - Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.

About the Author

Steven Carlson is the founder of Child Custody Coach. He is known nationally as The Custody Coach and provides one-on-one coaching services to parents in the field of child custody and divorce. He is the author of How to Win Child Custody.