Your Child - Your Divorce

By Tom Mcmahon (Source)
A lot has been written about the effects of divorce on children. In my humble opinion, Edward Teber, the author of “Helping Your Children With Divorce,” offers the most relevant and concise advice for parents who want to minimize the negative effects of divorce on their children:

“One of the strongest determinants of how well a child adjusts to a divorce is whether or not the ex-spouses support each other in their continuing relationship as parents. Children benefit when both parents coexist peacefully and accept that their ex-spouse is important to their children.”

Secondary in importance is having continuity between the two parents and the environments in which the children live. Ex-spouses should agree on rules and discipline, chores, mealtimes and bedtimes. The more continuity there is in your children’s lives, the more content they will be. They find great comfort in family routines.

Thirdly, practice authoritative parenting, the parenting style that is often associated with positive outcomes. Authoritative parents are warm and nurturing, they encourage communication, yet they set clear and appropriate rules for their children.

Thanks to the readers of this column for sending in so many clever kid tips.

Divorced dad visits kids via Webcam: I never thought that a high-tech gadget would make a difference in my family after a divorce, but it has. A Webcam (small camera) connected to my computer and another one connected to my ex-wife’s computer allow my two children and me to visit via cyberspace in a sort of video conference. Since I now live a few hours away by car from my two children, the Webcams keep us connected during the weeks when my ex-wife has custody of the children. The kids can even hold up things for me to see, such as a school project. Other divorced or separated parents might want to give it a try. — Anonymous

Note: Webcams also can be a fun way for kids to stay connected to grandparents. Some computers, including Apple products, have built-in Webcams. (T.M.)

Preventing ear infections: Parents can reduce the chance of their babies getting ear infections. First, a baby should never be allowed to lie on his back or side while drinking a bottle. The liquid can back up into his eustachian tubes and cause blockage in the ears. This is a common cause of ear infections. Second, breastfeeding encourages a feeding position that keeps the baby’s head slightly elevated, thereby limiting the possibility of liquid draining to the ears. Also, breast milk contains antibodies that can prevent ear infections. — Adel Y., Fremont

Leftovers served with a flair: I have found a fun and creative way to use up the leftovers in our refrigerator. Once a week, I make a list of all the leftovers available for dinner. Then I put on my fanciest apron, add a few elegant French words to my vocabulary and begin taking orders from each family member. I rattle off the complete menu for that evening, including drinks. The kids love it, my husband rolls his eyes and I get an empty fridge. — L.A.A., Salt Lake City

Check out toys: Toys can clutter up a child’s room in no time. To discourage this, we started a practice of checking out toys from a large cabinet that had a safety lock on it. Each child could check out three toys at a time. When they finished playing with those toys, they could check out three more. The cabinet contained toys (games, puzzles, etc.), but books were always available in each child’s room. — Bonnie L., Fremont

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Tom McMahon is a syndicated columnist, college professor and author of the books “Kid Tips” and “Teen Tips.” Visit his Web site at www.kidtips.com.

Once you have finished gathering all your divorce information, sought all the divorce advice that was out there, found divorce help by hiring an attorney and financial planner… after you have learned everything there is to know about how to get a divorce there is one decision that has no fast, cut-and-dried answers: how to raise your children in two households.

Custody of the children can be a major talking point when negotiating a divorce settlement. Depending on how near or far from one another the parents choose to live, it is possible for children to spend equal time with both of them. Once the marital home is sold (if this is what you decide to do) you may work it out so that both spouses can live in smaller, separate homes within your children’s school district. Furthermore, alimony payments can help out with the mortgage.

What ever you and your spouse may do or argue about, don’t sucked into the trap of neglecting your children. As a parent, the kindest thing you can do is to arrange a quick and easy divorce lasting from a few weeks to a month.

If the circumstances of your situation allow it, joint physical custody of your children may be the healthiest option. A child may struggle to understand the mere concept of divorce; all the more so when coping with divorce. When both parents are available to their children, life after divorce can be a time of healing. 

About the Author:
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com a great online source for finance information.

Source: Free Articles

Anxiety During the Divorce Process

Children are very likely to feel anxious about their future during the divorce process. A child’s mother, father, and home comprise of his or her world. This world suddenly seems to shatter at even the thought of parental separation. Children’s minds are very fragile and innocent. Therefore, rather than worrying about the big picture of future they tend to worry about things like who will get to keep the dog.

There is also a lot of anxiety associated with whom they will stay with after the divorce. This anxiety is likely to cause a lot of fear and depression in the child. Therefore, it would be best if you and your partner decide about the child’s living arrangement and let the child know about these arrangements. While telling a child about his or her future living arrangements is likely to reduce the anxiety in the child’s mind, the depression related to losing a parent will continue for a very long time. Read the rest of this entry »

Editor’s Note: Occasionally we receive comments or stories from people that need and deserve to be heard and/or offered advice. We have therefore decided to open a new category on this site titled “Parents Seeking Advice”. The purpose would be to offer you, our readers, a place where you could speak out and get heard - and more importantly, receive advice or hear the opinions of real people who have been through similar experiences.

If you are interested in sharing your story with others, please send us your questions or stories to yourchildyourdivorce@gmail.com. Personal information of the contributor will remain anonymous at all times. Thank you.  

“My wife and I are about to separate and divorce.  It is quite amicable,
except for the fact that I still love my wife with all my heart.  While no
one has cheated or abused the other, I have come to understand (with a
therapist’s help) that I have made serious mistakes that are primarily the
cause of the failure of our marriage.  My wife was very reluctant to admit
that, wanting to share the responsibility, but it has become clear that I
have failed her badly.

Obviosuly, I have worked through some serious, difficult moments accepting
it all.  But in the end, she feels hurt and emotionally drained and ready
for divorce.  After months of therapy and open, sincere discussion, I have
surrendered to her desire, rather than try and trap her in a failed,
unfulfillng marriage.  I accept that she does not love me anymore, and she
accepts that I will surrender to her demand for a divorce, but still love
her deeply.

We have two children, ages five and two.

Just before I surrendered, I made a desparate plea for mercy.  I had not
planned to do any such thing.  I had put on my shorts and t-shirt and
running shoes to go running, she spoke to me and my heart got the best of
me.  I knelt at her feet and begged for mercy.  I was under the impression
that the children were with their Aunt.  They were not.  The five year old
came into the room and saw daddy kneeling on bare knees at Mommy’s feet,
trembling, hands clasped.  Mommy was standing over daddy, arms folded,
looking down on her fallen spouse.

The child refuses to say much of any consequence in the aftermath.  We don’t
know how best to approach it.  My wife is more upset with me than ever and I
am filled with regret.

Please believe me.  Despite my failures, I do love my wife dearly and my
children.  I am truly sorry for all of my mistakes, and I have surrendered
to my wife to allow the divorce to happen.

Now we need to know how to approach our five-year old.

Please don’t use my real name in print.

Thank you.”

As a single parent, are you concerned about how your divorce has effected your teenager? Are you looking for some guidance as a single parent of a teenager? Here are 7 parenting mistakes to avoid as a single parent of a teenager.

Being a single parent inherently comes with challenges.  As a counselor, often single parents ask what mistakes they need to avoid when parenting their teenager.  Many single parents are concerned about any consequences of their divorce that could negatively affect their teenager.  Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

Mistake 1:  Lying to them

Honesty is always best, especially when parenting teenagers.  First, today’s teenagers are quite savvy and know when they are being conned.  Also, dishonesty only destroys trust, which is something that is needed most during this transitional time.

Mistake 2:  Avoiding discipline

Wherever there is a lack of any discipline, there is manipulation. Dictionary.com provides this definition of discipline, “Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.” Notice the emphasis on improved character rather than punishment.

Mistake 3:  Eliminate any structure or routine

Divorce is a transitional time for everyone involved.  Each person’s routine is adversely affected.  A structured home environment filled with routines and chores provides a sense of order and ownership.  This is beneficial particularly if there is chaos resulting from the divorce.

Mistake 4:  Forget about them

As a single parent, you are forced to wear many hats and fill many different roles - often simultaneously.  In addition, you are in the midst of trying to provide a stable home environment, work full time, and recover from the emotional adjustment of a being a single parent.  In the midst of this, I encourage you to find some time to be intentional on spending time with your teenager on a regular basis.  Help them to see that you are available to them, and concerned about any needs they may have.

Mistake 5:  Continue fighting with your former spouse

If a marital relationship has been turbulent, then many teenagers anticipate a divorce will bring about a much needed sense of peace.  However, if conflict continues after divorce has been finalized then your teenager may experience some emotional difficulty adjusting to the divorce.  As much as you are able, try to keep any discussions with your former spouse cordial and focused on your teenager.

Mistake 6: Don’t get them any outside help

Divorce can affect teenagers in many different ways.  Some may open up emotionally and sharing their feelings freely.  However, others may withdraw from family and friends and become reclusive.  Others may enter into some behavioral problems that may have not been there before. If you have any concerns about how your teenager is recovering from the divorce then I encourage you to seek out a qualified professional counselor.

Mistake 7:  Assuming nothing is wrong

Another common parenting mistake is to assume that your teenager has been completely untouched by the divorce.  There lives seem undisturbed as if the divorce is a minor incident in the tapestry of their lives.  And this is true for many teenagers. However, there are others that will give the appearance that all is well, when in fact the opposite is the case.  They may do this to save face for them, or they can react this way to give their parents one less thing to worry about.  Communicate with your teenager on an ongoing basis about his/her feelings about their new life and its challenges.

Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more! Terre Grable is a licensed professional counselor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.

Find free, high quality articles you can republish from www.copypastearticles.com

Rafael Richman, Ph.D.

Parents often come to my office feeling frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Many of them explain to me that they feel they are at the end of their rope and at a loss for what to do. Having read numerous books and articles on parenting, experimented with all sorts of techniques, talked to friends, school counselors, and teachers, they long for something that works; something that they hope might possibly help them in dealing with their child.

While some parents wish and request that I “fix” their child, many say they would be grateful to settle for anything that may help their child and alleviate their feeling frustrated.

Through years of consulting with parents, working with kids in therapy, and leading parent-skills training groups, I experimented with different approaches to helping parents. In wanting to simplify a large body of information, I arbitrarily categorized the world of parenting into two philosophies: behavioral and humanistic. I strongly advocate and practice the latter, while I grudgingly (and with disappointment) accept that the former continues to be widely adopted. Before elaborating upon my preference for humanistic parenting, I’d like to briefly describe the behavioral model.

The behavioral approach to parenting is based on the premise that children’s behaviors can be shaped through modifying the consequences in their environment. Common terms in the behaviorist’s vocabulary are: reinforcement, reward, punishment, tokens, shaping, and time-out. In certain circumstances and situations, implementing behavioral strategies can effectively and quickly change a child’s behavior over the short-term. I believe this is one of the reasons behavioral techniques maintain their widespread appeal with parents and professionals. Moreover, research has repeatedly demonstrated that one of the best ways to immediately reduce or eliminate an undesirable behavior (e.g., hitting, temper tantrums) is to punish a child as soon as possible following the emitted action. Behavior management programs seem to work best when the parent or teacher holds a position of power over, and maintains a reasonably high degree of control over the child.

When I trained as an intern, I counseled parents on ways to set up these behavioral systems in their home to enable them to reduce or control their child’s “unwanted” behaviors. Our programs seemed reasonable, simple, and commonsensical. Parents and I, however, soon started noticing some reoccurring common patterns and problems. The first two to three weeks was a “honeymoon” period. At this stage of the program, the charts and rewards were often fun for the parents and kids. The ideas were new and fresh. With most honeymoons, though, the novelty and behavior changes did not endure. The reduced effectiveness, or total breakdown, became predictable. Parents told me stories of their kids becoming bitter and resentful, and tearing down the star charts off the refrigerator door. The once-effective rewards (e.g., T.V., video games, money, candy), were no longer sufficient. Parents and I also observed another common problem with this approach: when the parent was not present (i.e., the person in charge was not around), the children usually reverted to their previous actions. For instance, Billy would act “good” when mom and dad were watching, but he would return to hitting his sister when mom and dad weren’t around.

I felt uncomfortable advocating and supporting a system that was based on parents having control and power over their children. This contradicted my belief that children are intelligent human beings who deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Another troublesome outcome associated with the behavioral techniques was that kids seemed to react with negative feelings, such as feeling angry or feeling scared, toward their parents. This prompted my search for another way to enhance the emotional climate in the home.

What, then, is an alternative? What is humanistic parenting?

Humanistic parenting is an attitude, a philosophy, and a way of relating to your child. It is an approach where the inner goodness of the child is valued.

A core principle of humanistic parenting is respecting children and treating them with dignity. A useful exercise to help in following this fundamental principle is to ask yourself the questions, “would I like to be treated that way?”, and “how would I feel if I was in their shoes?”. If the answers are “no” and “I would feel disrespected”, then your actions as a parents most likely do not follow the humanistic parenting philosophy.

When treating their children with respect and connecting with their children’s feelings, parents are empowered. They often experience considerably less feeling guilty and frustrated.

In the humanistic approach, children are allowed to have and to feel their feelings. I am not proposing that kids be allowed to go around hitting whomever they please! I am, however, suggesting that children (just as adults do) are entitled to express their feelings in a constructive nonviolent manner. In allowing their feelings an outlet, children often feel better about themselves, and feel accepted by their parents.

Humanistic parenting practitioners also respect the feelings of parents. Through being aware of, expressing, and communicating their feelings, they can act as sincere and genuine models to their children.

Skills and terms in the humanistic parenting vocabulary include: active listening, acknowledging and validating feelings, openly communicating your own feelings, problem solving, describing, and giving information.

Some professionals and parents believe that the skills and techniques from humanistic philosophy are not sufficient for dealing with “difficult” and “tough” children with serious problems. My experiences, generally, have not supported this assertion. Contrary to these concerns, I have repeatedly witnessed the success of humanistic parenting strategies with a wide range of children.

It is sometimes beneficial to incorporate skills and strategies adopted or borrowed from the behavioral model within the humanistic framework. The key seems to be how these techniques are used and the underlying attitude that parents have when relating to their children. For instance, it may be helpful for a parent to use a version of the time-out strategy when their child is feeling very angry. Within the humanistic framework time-out could provide the child an opportunity to cool down and maybe even to reflect on his feelings. It would be used in a respectful, non-punitive manner, and often with the previously agreed upon consent of the child.

Although it may take longer to see the results of the humanistic approach with “difficult” children, in the end, those children incorporate values and acceptable behaviors that tend to endure. Rather than questioning themselves whether their actions will elicit a sticker or reprimand from their parents (or teachers), children learn healthy ways to act and to express themselves in everyday situations.

When humanistic parenting is consistently adopted by parents, I believe that long-term changes are possible in all families and with all children. The positive feedback from parents bolsters my conviction that this is an effective and respectful way to relate to children.

For more information and for techniques that were developed from follow a humanistic parenting philosophy, I often recommend the following books: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish; Parent Effectiveness Training, by Thomas Gordon; and Kids are Worth It!, by Barbara Coloroso. Videos, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, and Barbara Coloroso, are also available.

Participating in parenting groups and consulting with a professional who is familiar and experienced with the humanistic approach may also be helpful ways to practice and fine-tune these skills.

This article was previously published in the B.C. Psychologist, July 2001 issue, and as the cover/feature article in Balanced Life magazine, January, 2002.

Dr. Rafael Richman, Ph.D. is a psychologist and psychotherapist in Jerusalem, Israel. In addition to consulting with parents, Dr. Richman offers counseling and therapy for adults, couples, children, and families. He works with: persons labeled “ADHD”, individuals who feel depressed, anxious, or angry; people experiencing stress in their jobs; and persons having relationship difficulties. Dr. Richman can be contacted at dr_raf18@yahoo.ca or at 02.561.7184.
For more about Dr. Richman click: www.drraf.com.

By Rafael Richman, PhD

When you and your child interact, what often happens is that your child communicates or conveys a message to you, and in response feels partially heard, or does not feel heard at all.   For instance, your child’s message may be to express an idea, a thought, or a feeling-emotion, to you, and your response may be to problem-solve and to give a solution or to provide parental advice and wisdom to your child.

One consequence of this “dance” is that your child may have a sense of not being heard and understood.  Your child may experience this as an empty feeling.  For your child this may also be accompanied by a vague unsatisfied sense.  This empty and unsatisfied feeling may be outside of your child’s conscious awareness and is often very subtle.  In families where these poor communicating patterns occur repeatedly, children may get used to not feeling heard.

A deep human need is not being fulfilled.  A consequence of this is that your child may end up feeling frustrated.  If this feeling unheard happens a lot, your child may also feel invisible, unloved, unimportant, alone, and insecure.    Your child may sense that it is not safe for him to express his feelings.

Children cope with this lack of being heard and their corresponding feelings in different ways.  Children who are still developing their verbal skills or who have difficulty with knowing, labeling, and communicating their feelings, may resort to indirect strategies for getting across their inner experience.  Shutting-down and keeping their feelings to themselves is one possible action.  “Turning up the volume” is another.  While the former action may manifest as the child “going quiet” and not verbalizing, the latter may manifest more externally and noisily as crying, temper-tantrum-ing, screaming, nagging, acting out, or any number of behaviors.

As an adult and a parent you are able to turn to friends, close family, or your spouse to vent your feelings, to talk, and to feel witnessed and heard.  If you are able to recall an instance when you experienced feeling really and truly heard and understood, you most likely felt positive about this interaction.  Truly being heard feels satisfying, complete, and feeds the soul.  Some adults and parents seek a professional ear [counselor, doctor, psychologist, rabbi] as a means to feel heard and to fulfill this need.

Feeling heard and understood is often accompanied by a sense of clarity.  People who talk and feel heard are often better able to sort out what is going on for themselves, what is important to them, and what they are thinking and feeling.  This ideally enables them to move on.  Feeling heard can provide the opportunity to get unstuck and to allow for movement and action.  It can be energizing, enlivening, and motivating.

A classic example in parent-child interacting can be used to illustrate this point.   Suppose a child falls and lightly hurts himself, and then, crying, approaches his parent.  The child may wish to let his parent know that he fell and that he is experiencing some degree of pain.  In the perfect world, the parent would validate and empathize with her child’s feelings of pain, the child would feel heard, stop crying, and then run off to continue playing.  In a non-perfect world, the parent would respond to her child by getting frustrated, angry, or by being non-attentive to the child’s message.  In this scenario the child may feel worse, continue to cry, and may feel irritated and annoyed.

In the perfect world scenario, the parent nourishes the child by responding in an attuned, empathic, and genuine way to the child’s experience.  The child then is often able to move on to their next activity.  Parents living in the real and non-perfect world, however, may be tired, busy with other kids or people, self-absorbed in another task or activity, distracted, overwhelmed, preoccupied with their thoughts, or perhaps engrossed in their own strong feelings.  For whatever reason, parents may be unable to and unavailable to witness and to listen to the child in that moment.

Expect that this will happen.   Expect that there will be many occasions where you will not really listen to your child.  You may be relieved to know that the next opportunity to correct this “error” will arrive soon.  We can also think about this as opportunities to do t’shuvah for a het [sin; going off the mark].  G-d continually provides us with chances to correct our path, and to get us back on the mark and back on track.

The unfortunate truth is that it is often incredibly difficult to really listen to others who are closest to us; and this includes our children.  It can be easier to listen to and to respond positively to a stranger or a casual acquaintance.  It is less likely that these individuals are setting off all of our reactive triggers and pushing our buttons.  It is easier to listen to someone when we are not as invested in the relationship.

The choice to improve listening habits is yours.  If you decide to pursue this path, expect that changing the dynamics and the interaction patterns between you and your children will require ongoing work, conscious effort, and continuous practice.    Active and sincere listening is a skill. Unpracticed skills get rusty.    Your child deserves to be nourished.   Are you willing to work at de-rusting your listening habits?

Children long to experience being understood, being heard, and being truly seen by their parents.  Opportunities for you to provide this gift to your child arise each and every moment.

Strive to increase the nourishing responses and to decrease the non-nourishing responses to your children.   Modifying this nourishing to non-nourishing ratio, I believe, is a do-able, reasonable, and worthy endeavor.  Practical ways to implement this idea will be described in upcoming articles.

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It may be worthwhile for you to take a moment and reflect on the following:

When you “listen” to someone [your child] are you truly listening to them?
Are you truly present and “with” them?

Is it hard for you to hear your child?  Do your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions get in the way?  Do you find yourself reacting [e.g., getting angry, frustrated, impatient] to what they are saying?

When you “listen” to someone [your child] are you thinking ahead to what you will say next, in response to their comment?  Are you truly listening or are you more invested in working hard to get you point across?
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Dr. Rafael Richman, Ph.D. works as a psychologist and psychotherapist in Jerusalem, Israel.  In addition to consulting with parents, he offers counseling and therapy for adults, couples, children, and families.  Dr. Richman works with:  persons labeled “ADHD”, individuals who feel depressed, anxious, or angry; people experiencing stress in their jobs; and persons having relationship difficulties.  Dr. Richman can be contacted at dr_raf18@yahoo.ca or at 02.561.7184.  For more about Dr. Richman click: www.drraf.com

When a new study comes out showing that Ritalin use doubles in children of divorce, it is easy to assume the very public perception that divorce is always bad for kids. But is it really that simple?

Below, Professor Lisa Strohschein asks the following question: ‘Is it possible that divorce acts as a stressful life event that creates adjustment problems for children, which might increase acting out behavior, leading to a prescription for Ritalin?’

Or as this blogger puts it so well:

People often use psychiatric diagnoses as if they’re explanations when really they’re nothing more than descriptions. The idea is that science will ‘fill in the gaps’ and explain how these differences occur.

The trouble is, the behaviour described by an ADHD diagnosis could occur because of genetic influences on brain development, because divorce is causing emotional distress, because the child is being bullied, or for any number of other reasons.

Ritalin is likely to help regardless of what is causing the child to be disturbed, because it helps the child focus by boosting attention.

The question is, should children be prescribed drugs because they are distressed by a divorce? There’s no definite answer in every case as each child and each situation is different.

But perhaps we should be concerned that children are likely being prescribed psychiatric drugs as a ‘quick fix’ for emotional distress and behaviour problems when research shows that parent training programmes are safe and effective.

Ritalin use doubles after divorce, study finds

By Scott Anderson Tue Jun 5, 9:47 AM ET

TORONTO (Reuters) - Children from broken marriages are twice as likely to be prescribed attention-deficit drugs as children whose parents stay together, a Canadian researcher said on Monday, and she said the reasons should be investigated.More than 6 percent of 633 children from divorced families were prescribed Ritalin, compared with 3.3 percent of children whose parents stayed together, University of Alberta professor Lisa Strohschein reported in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

The study of more than 4,700 children started in 1994, while all the families were intact, Strohschein said. They followed the children’s progress to see what happened to their families and to see what drugs were prescribed.

“It shows clearly that divorce is a risk factor for kids to be prescribed Ritalin,” Strohschein said.

Other studies have shown that children of single parents are more likely to get prescribed drugs such as Ritalin. But is the problem caused by being born to a never-married mother, or some other factor?

“So the question was, ‘is it possible that divorce acts a stressful life event that creates adjustment problems for children, which might increase acting out behavior, leading to a prescription for Ritalin?”‘ Strohschein said in a statement.

“On the other hand, there is also the very public perception that divorce is always bad for kids and so when children of divorce come to the attention of the health-care system — possibly because parents anticipate their child must be going through adjustment problems — doctors may be more likely to diagnose a problem and prescribe Ritalin.”

Ritalin, known generically as methylphenidate, is a psychostimulant drug most commonly prescribed for the treatment of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in children.

There is a big debate in much of the developed world over whether it may be over-prescribed — given to children who do not really need it. In March, a University of California, Berkeley study found that the use of drugs to treat ADHD has more than tripled worldwide since 1993.

Strohschein said it is possible that some mental health problems pre-date the divorce, so “it is possible that these kids had these problems before, but are only being identified afterward.”

Her study was not designed to find out why the children were prescribed the drug.

“I might be finished with the survey, but I am not necessarily finished with the question,” she said in a telephone interview.

Bill Sears of Billsarena.com being interviewed regarding child custody and shared parenting on The Fox Morning Show With Mike and Juliet, live in New York on Monday May 14. The show was inspired by the political and family ramifications of Alec Baldwin, David Hasselhoff, Brittany Spears and Charlie Sheens custody fights and issues.