Comments on: Child Custody Rights for Fathers

By: John Benbrook

John Benbrook — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:54:38 +0000

I am a divorced Dad and live in PA. My ex and 2 wonderful boys (6yrs & 4yrs) relocated to Idaho. For three years now I have visited the boys in Idaho averaging 4 visits per year. This is because their mother has not been “COMFORTABLE” with the boys coming back east. I have done everything I can navigate through her angst and yet still be with my boys. I have not and will not miss a support payment.

I informed the mother that I would like to have the boys for 2 weeks net summer to visit me and my family at our cabin in Maine for a week and a week at my home outside of Philly.

SHe immediately said no and that the boys are not ready for this. Mean while she has taken them with her new husband to California and Hawaii.

She threatened me to go for more support if I pursued this further and she fails to realize this has nothing to do about money and everything to do with being with the boys and having them connect with my family.

Since I am going to have to fight for this, I am thinking about asking for the entire summer or at least a month for the boys to be with me.

Do I have any chance?

By: kevin

kevin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:21:26 +0000

can someone help me…i’m 21 yrs old…i have had bad work history but…i’ve been everyday to put in applications but can’t find a job…still lookin’… my wife is mad because i haven’t gotten her a place of our own yet because i can’t find a good paying job…we argue constantly and she gets mad and says she is going to take the 1 mon. and 13 day old baby boy away and never let him see me or my side of the family again…she is still a senior in high school and doesn’t work herself…i live with my mom and dad right now until i get a job…i get foodstamps, and my wife gets Wic for the baby she has my foodstamp card…but, at my moms house, he would be in one house all the time…the same one he is mostly lived in…she goes from sister to sister to mom and dads house constantly and lets each of her sisters watch him without her there…all the time, and i need help, advice and someone tell me wat to do that has been through this…i want full custody of my son, we are going to get a divorce and she is wanting me to meet her down to sign the papers, if i had him, i would let him see both sides of the family and i have everything here at my moms that i need to take care of him, i even go out and do jobs for cash almost everyday, even if it’s hauling metal or cuttin’ grass or cleaning gutters, i do everything i can to take care of him, she doesn’t do anything but go to school, this article said that they need a parent that can bond with their son, but if she is lettting other ppl watch him as much if not more than she does, do i have a pretty good chance of getting custody?…wat should i do, someone plz help

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:48:52 +0000

Pardon me but WHAT THE F*CK. How can someone just want their kid for the money? I know i want my kid because i know my wifey wouldnt do crap for him, she never gets him up in the morning, never gets him dressed, never changes his diapers, never hangs out with him. Her priorities are to hang out with her sister for 9 hours after work and come home late sometimes after he’s gone to bed, then get mad at me when i suggest she get him up and take him to daycare in the morning so i can have a “morning off” before i go to work.”

By: Diane

Diane — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:00:12 +0000

My sister has full custody of her children. She also was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. She recently decided to move to the same city/state as her ex for various reasons — including having the kids closer to the ex and other family. Now her ex is challenging custody on the basis of her health. She is perfectly able to care for her teenage children. She is ready to discuss a new visitation schedule, but feels that her ex is edging on discrimination against her as a cancer patient. Anyone else facing a siminar situation?

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:49:25 +0000

Ethan I feel your pain.. im 26 married with 3 kids.. but my soon to be 9 year old daughter doesn’t live with me she lives with her mother.. I’ve been paying child support since she was 1 and have never missed a payment except for short term unemployment. Everything as been going relitivly ok except for the last year or so.. she’s been almost going out of her way to make not see my daugter.. For example.. I have her the same days that you do on your agreement.. this summer she told me that she wanted my daughter to go to tootering classes during the summer.. this is after the girl made all A and B during the year.. and it just so happens that the that is suppose to going right in the time that I’m suppose to get her for a month during the summer.. I thought about it for a couple of day and told her NO.. as you can imagine that did set to well.. which I didn’t expect that it was. but I delt with it. Now here it is July the 1st the first day that im suppose to get her for a month.. and what happens.. My daughter calls me and tells me that she doesn’t want to see me.. and It kind of raises a red flag because every time I have gotten her in the past we talled about her being able to move in with me when she gets older if she wanted to.. I would never push her to do it but if she did she knows that my door is always open.. What concerns me is that I think that my ex is talking her in to staying with her.. I dont know if its through guilt or bribory.. but somethings not right.. How can you be excited about going to see someone for MONTHS even days up until to date then the last minuet seem like you dont want to go.. and as a side not I did go try to get her.. and I saw her.. she looked like sh#t.. she looked really bad..

I dont know what to do.. I’m scared that if I try to get her.. I wont and It will make matters worse.. but I do nothing.. how can I call my self a father and let something happen to my daughter..

Im stuck between a rock and a hard place..

By: randr

randr — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:38:38 +0000

I would like to know if a father has been paying his child support then lost his job for three months and is only two months behind on child support and now has a new job and trying to get caught up. Can x keep father from talking or see their children. I am not a dead beat dad just ran into the falling job market. And have been looking every day until I have finally found one but x has not allowed me tro talk or see. What can be done if anything Thanks everyone

By: JEFF HANSEN

JEFF HANSEN — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 23:22:03 +0000

WE HAVE TWO AWESOME KIDS. MY SON IS 8 AND MY DAUGHTER IS 10. HERES THE PROBLEM. MY EX IS A GOOD WOMAN BUT SCREWING UP REAL BAD. AND OUR CHILDREN ARE PAYING THE PRICE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE. I HAVE TAKEN HER TO COURT 6 TIMES AND THE JUDGE WON’T DO A DAMN THING. I HAVE PROVED THAT SHE WAS LIVING IN A DANGEROUS PLACE, WITH DANGEROUS PEOPLE. JUDGE DID NOTHING. SHE HAS MOVED 10 TIMES IN LESS THAT 2 YEARS. MY KIDS ARE TIRED OF UNPACKING. THEY DON’T HAVE FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THIS. HER TWO OLDEST BOYS ARE IN TROUBLE, STILL LIVING AT HOME. JUDGE SAYS NOTHING. MY SON WAS THROWN INTO A WALL BY HIS BROTHER WHEN HE WAS MAD. BROKE THE SHEETROCK WITH MY SONS HEAD. AGAIN NOTHING. SHE HAS NEVER, I MEAN NEVER FOLLOWED ONE SINGLE COURT ORDER. JUDGE SAYS NOTHING. WHAT CAN I DO. I AM DISABLED AND ON SSI. I DO NOT HAVE MONEY FOR A LAWYER. BUT I WILL NOT EVER GIVE UP ON MY KIDS. THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND FUN LOVING. SOMEONE OUT THERE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO WIN OVER A ARIZONA JUDGE WHO TAKES ON WOMENS RIGHTS ON THE SIDE NOT ME, MY CHILDREN NEED YOUR HELP.

By: Ethan

Ethan — Thu, 14 May 2009 11:33:56 +0000

My ex wife has legal custody of my daughter. It specifies in the divorce papers I have visitations when it fits their schedule. I have always been able to have my daughter every Wednesday and every other weekend. My ex has now decided to put her in an after school latchkey program. She will no longer let me have her on my Wednesdays unless I come and get her after latchkey.This would cut back 3 hours of time I could be spending with her. Is there a way for me to legally come and pick her up on Wednesdays to spend time with her. Also the bus tried to drop her off from school one day and no one was home. The bus brought her back to school and she ended up sitting at school until almost 6 o’clock waiting for her mother to get home. If I had been on the emergency card at school they could have called me and I would have been there right away. My daughter is only 5. Can you imagine how she felt sitting there hoping someone would come and get her? Is there any thing I can do to get on the emergency card? What rights do dads have??

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:33:16 +0000

I forgot to add to my post..
When he moved away he never even said goodbye to his kids.. he never even told them he was moving.. he just up and left.. Apparently he has been gone for a couple of years. Like I said he doesnt keep regular contact. I told him my only condition to his â€œvisitsâ€ is REGULAR.. you cant come in and out of their lives.
The other day my 15 yr old asked him to call her once a week.. His reply.. I WILL TRYâ€¦ I was so angry and still am.. I wanted to call him and tell him to drop dead.
He calls from his cell phone and they have to leave messages as his now wife will not allow him to give them any other info. His lawyer told him during mediation to get some balls and tell her these kids are FIRST. I have told him that he is having an affair with his children and they are being cheated.

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:18:59 +0000

I praise the fathers who see their kids or even have custody. I have been divorced from my ex husband for 10 yrs. We have 3 children who are now 23, 19 and 15. While going through our divorce he saw the kids sparingly and it grew less and less when he became involved with another woman. The kids went once to his place for Christmas and met this woman and her kids. She said some HORRIBLE things to our children and they told their dad they did not want to see her again, however, he continued seeing her. Four months into dating she became pregnant and they just got married last year. (Their child is now 5). We went to mediation over reducing his child support when the oldest turned 18 and he was ordered to add the kids to his benefits (which he said his girlfriend would be angry if he did that and he never did). He tried the Parent Alienation cry over visitation and I could have slapped him.. I have NEVER kept the kids from him but as they grew older he would call on Birthdays and Christmas (he was then living 25 mins from our house). In the last year, I was diagnosed with cancer, he called on Christmas had our 15 yr old daughter in tears as he bashed me over and over. (I told him this past week of my illness and that I had just had surgery a few weeks ago). He now lives 6 hours from the kids and their will be NO way of visits. He isnt allowed to see them unless she is present and they dont want her there. Is this not child abadonment?
My issue now is my 15 yr old is almost regressing back to where she was 10 yrs ago.. Crying for her dad.. mourning something that can never be.
The kids are not welcome at their home.. they dont even have an address or home number. They last time they received any gift from him was the first year these two got together.
How do I help my daughter get passed this and realize the daddy she remembers isnt the daddy he is?