Comments for Your Child - Your Divorce http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress The Complete Parent's Guide to Children and Divorce Thu, 24 May 2012 00:34:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 Comment on Divorce - Will Your Children Survive? by joi from a broken family http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/divorce-will-your-children-survive/comment-page-1/#comment-1323 joi from a broken family Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:21:49 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=251#comment-1323 My mom? She used to cheat on my dad when I was 10. My dad? He used to cheat on my mom almost his whole married life. It really is difficult to live in a family where your parents are fighting over the same issue every now and then. I know they're supposed to file for legal separation, but whatever is the reason why they still live together until now is out of my business anymore. I am an IT professional now, and the reason for this success is that I learned from other people's story and have these lessons applied to my life. I even read writings about other people's lives. I understand. I read. I listen. I pray. I laugh. And, of course, I live. My mom? She used to cheat on my dad when I was 10. My dad? He used to cheat on my mom almost his whole married life. It really is difficult to live in a family where your parents are fighting over the same issue every now and then. I know they’re supposed to file for legal separation, but whatever is the reason why they still live together until now is out of my business anymore.

I am an IT professional now, and the reason for this success is that I learned from other people’s story and have these lessons applied to my life. I even read writings about other people’s lives. I understand. I read. I listen. I pray. I laugh. And, of course, I live.

]]> Comment on Child Custody Rights for Fathers by John Benbrook http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/child-custody-rights-for-fathers/comment-page-1/#comment-1128 John Benbrook Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:54:38 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=8#comment-1128 I am a divorced Dad and live in PA. My ex and 2 wonderful boys (6yrs & 4yrs) relocated to Idaho. For three years now I have visited the boys in Idaho averaging 4 visits per year. This is because their mother has not been "COMFORTABLE" with the boys coming back east. I have done everything I can navigate through her angst and yet still be with my boys. I have not and will not miss a support payment. I informed the mother that I would like to have the boys for 2 weeks net summer to visit me and my family at our cabin in Maine for a week and a week at my home outside of Philly. SHe immediately said no and that the boys are not ready for this. Mean while she has taken them with her new husband to California and Hawaii. She threatened me to go for more support if I pursued this further and she fails to realize this has nothing to do about money and everything to do with being with the boys and having them connect with my family. Since I am going to have to fight for this, I am thinking about asking for the entire summer or at least a month for the boys to be with me. Do I have any chance? I am a divorced Dad and live in PA. My ex and 2 wonderful boys (6yrs & 4yrs) relocated to Idaho. For three years now I have visited the boys in Idaho averaging 4 visits per year. This is because their mother has not been “COMFORTABLE” with the boys coming back east. I have done everything I can navigate through her angst and yet still be with my boys. I have not and will not miss a support payment.

I informed the mother that I would like to have the boys for 2 weeks net summer to visit me and my family at our cabin in Maine for a week and a week at my home outside of Philly.

SHe immediately said no and that the boys are not ready for this. Mean while she has taken them with her new husband to California and Hawaii.

She threatened me to go for more support if I pursued this further and she fails to realize this has nothing to do about money and everything to do with being with the boys and having them connect with my family.

Since I am going to have to fight for this, I am thinking about asking for the entire summer or at least a month for the boys to be with me.

Do I have any chance?

]]> Comment on Child Custody Rights for Fathers by kevin http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/child-custody-rights-for-fathers/comment-page-1/#comment-1110 kevin Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:21:26 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=8#comment-1110 can someone help me...i'm 21 yrs old...i have had bad work history but...i've been everyday to put in applications but can't find a job...still lookin'... my wife is mad because i haven't gotten her a place of our own yet because i can't find a good paying job...we argue constantly and she gets mad and says she is going to take the 1 mon. and 13 day old baby boy away and never let him see me or my side of the family again...she is still a senior in high school and doesn't work herself...i live with my mom and dad right now until i get a job...i get foodstamps, and my wife gets Wic for the baby she has my foodstamp card...but, at my moms house, he would be in one house all the time...the same one he is mostly lived in...she goes from sister to sister to mom and dads house constantly and lets each of her sisters watch him without her there...all the time, and i need help, advice and someone tell me wat to do that has been through this...i want full custody of my son, we are going to get a divorce and she is wanting me to meet her down to sign the papers, if i had him, i would let him see both sides of the family and i have everything here at my moms that i need to take care of him, i even go out and do jobs for cash almost everyday, even if it's hauling metal or cuttin' grass or cleaning gutters, i do everything i can to take care of him, she doesn't do anything but go to school, this article said that they need a parent that can bond with their son, but if she is lettting other ppl watch him as much if not more than she does, do i have a pretty good chance of getting custody?...wat should i do, someone plz help :( can someone help me…i’m 21 yrs old…i have had bad work history but…i’ve been everyday to put in applications but can’t find a job…still lookin’… my wife is mad because i haven’t gotten her a place of our own yet because i can’t find a good paying job…we argue constantly and she gets mad and says she is going to take the 1 mon. and 13 day old baby boy away and never let him see me or my side of the family again…she is still a senior in high school and doesn’t work herself…i live with my mom and dad right now until i get a job…i get foodstamps, and my wife gets Wic for the baby she has my foodstamp card…but, at my moms house, he would be in one house all the time…the same one he is mostly lived in…she goes from sister to sister to mom and dads house constantly and lets each of her sisters watch him without her there…all the time, and i need help, advice and someone tell me wat to do that has been through this…i want full custody of my son, we are going to get a divorce and she is wanting me to meet her down to sign the papers, if i had him, i would let him see both sides of the family and i have everything here at my moms that i need to take care of him, i even go out and do jobs for cash almost everyday, even if it’s hauling metal or cuttin’ grass or cleaning gutters, i do everything i can to take care of him, she doesn’t do anything but go to school, this article said that they need a parent that can bond with their son, but if she is lettting other ppl watch him as much if not more than she does, do i have a pretty good chance of getting custody?…wat should i do, someone plz help :(

]]> Comment on When the Kids Do Not Want You to Go Out by Shona http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/when-the-kids-do-not-want-you-to-go-out/comment-page-1/#comment-1099 Shona Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:45:01 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=139#comment-1099 For proper development of a child, a lot of playing and physical activity is important. Unfortunately in todays materialistic world, a lot of kids are stressed with academic pressure by their parents so that they learn a lot of skills and earn a lot of money in the future. This will impair their growth and these parents should be educated about the concequences of such actions. For proper development of a child, a lot of playing and physical activity is important. Unfortunately in todays materialistic world, a lot of kids are stressed with academic pressure by their parents so that they learn a lot of skills and earn a lot of money in the future. This will impair their growth and these parents should be educated about the concequences of such actions.

]]> Comment on What are the Effects of Divorce in the Personality of Babies? by Shona http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/what-are-the-effects-of-divorce-in-the-personality-of-babies/comment-page-1/#comment-1089 Shona Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:38:17 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=129#comment-1089 Dealing with a premature baby is not easy. Women go through a lot of pain and struggle during pregnancy only with the hope to see a healthy baby delivered. But when someone delivers a premature baby it takes a lot of courage to accept the fact and deal with the concequences especially when the doctors do not have a lot of hope for the baby. Dealing with a premature baby is not easy. Women go through a lot of pain and struggle during pregnancy only with the hope to see a healthy baby delivered. But when someone delivers a premature baby it takes a lot of courage to accept the fact and deal with the concequences especially when the doctors do not have a lot of hope for the baby.

]]> Comment on Be The Best Single Parent You Can by Crystal Jacquez http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/be-the-best-single-parent-you-can/comment-page-1/#comment-1026 Crystal Jacquez Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:37:42 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=227#comment-1026 San Francisco, CA Single Moms On Facebook And MySpace Warned About Pre-Schooler Pix Online -- “Single mothers who put photos of their pre-school kids on their social networking homepages are creating a happy hunting ground for pedophiles.” The warning comes from Crystal Jacquez, managing editor of Guys and Lies.com, the online back grounding site designed exclusively for women. “Single mothers almost always do it.” says, Jacquez. “It’s not only incredibly dangerous but worse, most single moms have absolutely no idea that it’s dangerous at all!” “Think of it,” continues Jacquez, “if you’re one of the tens of thousands of pedophiles with a taste for really young kids, how do you get to them? Children under five or six are just too young to be online. “So what does this most dangerous form of pedophiles do?” asks Jacquez, “He surfs social networking sites looking for the pages of young single mothers. Literally, millions of single moms are now on social networks like Facebook and MySpace -- and almost all of them proudly show off photos of their kids on their homepages and profiles. So if you’re a pedophile stalking preschoolers, half an hour of searching out single mothers on social sites and you’ve got a dozen lush candidates – photos and all - just a few key strokes away”. Not only that, but these predators know that these kids are often protected only by lonely, vulnerable women --- women who are looking for men who they hope love children. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY! It’s a pedophile’s dream! Read this excerpt from a report in the journal American Psychologist, published by the American Psychological Association, regarding pedophiles stalking pre-schoolers on the internet: “Finding prepubescent victims directly (on the Internet) is quite rare; such offenders use the Internet in other ways. Pedophiles typically get access to preschool victims through online contact with parents” “If you have pictures of your child on line,” says Jacquez, “don’t be too surprised to get a message like the following from some nice sounding guy”: “Hey! I just saw your profile on Facebook and you are one great looking lady --- and that little girl of yours is just marvelous looking! She looks so bright etc. etc. etc!” “You’re going to have a new best friend very soon,” she says. “Count on it!” Who hasn’t heard of Lolita, one of the most famous books in America, in which the pedophile gets access to the prepubescent daughter by courting her divorced mother. You can still see the movie on cable TV with James Mason and Shelley Winters as the grown-ups and Sue Lyon as Lolita.? Jacquez also cites the following statistic from: Offender Characteristics, U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics re. Victim-offender relationships in sexual assault regarding who sexually assaults children under 6 years old. Who assaults children under 6 years old: Trusted family members: 48.6% Strangers: 3.1% Trusted family acquaintances: 48.3% “If a pedophile targets your child’s photo on your homepage, trust us,” says Jacquez, “they’ll become a ‘trusted family acquaintance’ soon enough. “Don’t close down your social network homepages” Jacquez says. “Just get those photos of your kids off them!” “One thing more thing,” says Jacquez, “when you meet a new guy online, check him out immediately with us at Guys and Lies.com (www.guysandlies.com). Our site is free and was built in order to empower women to check out the backgrounds of guys that they meet online. “First, check our Child Molesters Section where we access the photos and home addresses of over 360,000 registered sex offenders. Then check him out in our Criminal Records Section. Then check to see if he’s using a phony name. After that, check out all his claims about his background. “There is no way,” she says, “that you can be too careful.” Guys and Lies also has a special page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/guysandlies, and on MySpace at www.myspace.com/guysandlies. Jacquez asks you to please forward this article to single moms you know who have their kid’s photos online.. Contact: Crystal Jacquez, managing editor Guys and Lies.com 415 678-8610 crystal@guysandlies.com http://www.guysandlies.com San Francisco, CA

Single Moms On Facebook And MySpace Warned About Pre-Schooler Pix Online —

“Single mothers who put photos of their pre-school kids on their social networking homepages are creating a happy hunting ground for pedophiles.”

The warning comes from Crystal Jacquez, managing editor of Guys and Lies.com, the online back grounding site designed exclusively for women.

“Single mothers almost always do it.” says, Jacquez. “It’s not only incredibly dangerous but worse, most single moms have absolutely no idea that it’s dangerous at all!”

“Think of it,” continues Jacquez, “if you’re one of the tens of thousands of pedophiles with a taste for really young kids, how do you get to them? Children under five or six are just too young to be online.

“So what does this most dangerous form of pedophiles do?” asks Jacquez, “He surfs social networking sites looking for the pages of young single mothers.

Literally, millions of single moms are now on social networks like Facebook and MySpace — and almost all of them proudly show off photos of their kids on their homepages and profiles.

So if you’re a pedophile stalking preschoolers, half an hour of searching out single mothers on social sites and you’ve got a dozen lush candidates – photos and all - just a few key strokes away”.

Not only that, but these predators know that these kids are often protected only by lonely, vulnerable women — women who are looking for men who they hope love children. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY! It’s a pedophile’s dream!

Read this excerpt from a report in the journal American Psychologist, published by the American Psychological Association, regarding pedophiles stalking pre-schoolers on the internet:

“Finding prepubescent victims directly (on the Internet) is quite rare; such offenders use the Internet in other ways. Pedophiles typically get access to preschool victims through online contact with parents”

“If you have pictures of your child on line,” says Jacquez, “don’t be too surprised to get a message like the following from some nice sounding guy”:

“Hey! I just saw your profile on Facebook and you are one great looking lady — and that little girl of yours is just marvelous looking! She looks so bright etc. etc. etc!”

“You’re going to have a new best friend very soon,” she says. “Count on it!”

Who hasn’t heard of Lolita, one of the most famous books in America, in which the pedophile gets access to the prepubescent daughter by courting her divorced mother. You can still see the movie on cable TV with James Mason and Shelley Winters as the grown-ups and Sue Lyon as Lolita.?

Jacquez also cites the following statistic from: Offender Characteristics, U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics re. Victim-offender relationships in sexual assault regarding who sexually assaults children under 6 years old.

Who assaults children under 6 years old:

Trusted family members: 48.6%
Strangers: 3.1%
Trusted family acquaintances: 48.3%

“If a pedophile targets your child’s photo on your homepage, trust us,” says Jacquez, “they’ll become a ‘trusted family acquaintance’ soon enough.

“Don’t close down your social network homepages” Jacquez says. “Just get those photos of your kids off them!”

“One thing more thing,” says Jacquez, “when you meet a new guy online, check him out immediately with us at Guys and Lies.com (www.guysandlies.com). Our site is free and was built in order to empower women to check out the backgrounds of guys that they meet online.

“First, check our Child Molesters Section where we access the photos and home addresses of over 360,000 registered sex offenders. Then check him out in our Criminal Records Section. Then check to see if he’s using a phony name. After that, check out all his claims about his background. “There is no way,” she says, “that you can be too careful.”

Guys and Lies also has a special page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/guysandlies, and on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/guysandlies.

Jacquez asks you to please forward this article to single moms you know who have their kid’s photos online..

Contact:
Crystal Jacquez, managing editor
Guys and Lies.com
415 678-8610
crystal@guysandlies.com
http://www.guysandlies.com

]]> Comment on Force of Cohabit: Making or Breaking a Marriage? by Carolyn http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/force-of-cohabit-making-or-breaking-a-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-924 Carolyn Fri, 11 Sep 2009 01:47:57 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=259#comment-924 An interesting post. I actually kind of agree. I lived with a man for five years without us taking one single step towards the altar. When the relationship ended, it all seemed like such a waste of time. When my now husband wanted to move in with me (oh so many years ago!), I told him no. I said that until we were engaged with real plans to wed we would not cohabitate. It wasn't a tactic to get him to propose, just a way to prevent losing another five years to a dead end relationship. And it worked! An interesting post. I actually kind of agree. I lived with a man for five years without us taking one single step towards the altar. When the relationship ended, it all seemed like such a waste of time.

When my now husband wanted to move in with me (oh so many years ago!), I told him no. I said that until we were engaged with real plans to wed we would not cohabitate. It wasn’t a tactic to get him to propose, just a way to prevent losing another five years to a dead end relationship. And it worked!

]]> Comment on Be The Best Single Parent You Can by Angela http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/be-the-best-single-parent-you-can/comment-page-1/#comment-912 Angela Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:58:35 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=227#comment-912 Single mothers face one of the most challenges job in the world. Believe it or not bringing up a child without the assistance of your male partner is no easy job. This is the situation that shows who is a true caring mother and the one who simply neglects her child just to pursue her own interests neglecting the child. Though it is not an easy job, mothers should for the time-being, put a pause to their materialistic hunger and take the child upbringing as the primary focus in life. Those women who have done this have brought up the best of men in the world and led a happy and fulfilling life. On the other hand there have been women who neglected their children in their tender years just to repent later in their lives. Single mothers face one of the most challenges job in the world. Believe it or not bringing up a child without the assistance of your male partner is no easy job. This is the situation that shows who is a true caring mother and the one who simply neglects her child just to pursue her own interests neglecting the child. Though it is not an easy job, mothers should for the time-being, put a pause to their materialistic hunger and take the child upbringing as the primary focus in life. Those women who have done this have brought up the best of men in the world and led a happy and fulfilling life. On the other hand there have been women who neglected their children in their tender years just to repent later in their lives.

]]> Comment on Divorce - Will Your Children Survive? by Carolyn http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/divorce-will-your-children-survive/comment-page-1/#comment-861 Carolyn Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:03:23 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=251#comment-861 A very in depth article! Good points for parents facing divorce. I like that you suggest for them to simply look for changes in their children and to never take things personally when children express desires to spend time (even if it's extended time) with their other parent. Especially if it's their non custodial parent. I think it's natural for children to yearn for extra time with a parent they may have felt distant from. I also love that you discussed the fact that children's priorities shift as they age and have activities and a social life of their own. In a nuclear family that's considered both normal and encouraged. But with divorced parents it can be viewed as a betrayal, which is wrong and selfish. Great post! Carolyn http://thegrownupchild.ca A very in depth article! Good points for parents facing divorce. I like that you suggest for them to simply look for changes in their children and to never take things personally when children express desires to spend time (even if it’s extended time) with their other parent. Especially if it’s their non custodial parent. I think it’s natural for children to yearn for extra time with a parent they may have felt distant from.

I also love that you discussed the fact that children’s priorities shift as they age and have activities and a social life of their own. In a nuclear family that’s considered both normal and encouraged. But with divorced parents it can be viewed as a betrayal, which is wrong and selfish.

Great post!

Carolyn
http://thegrownupchild.ca

]]> Comment on Child Custody Battles - Getting Prepared by Dr Jason Secord http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/child-custody-battles-getting-prepared/comment-page-1/#comment-770 Dr Jason Secord Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:57:04 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=2#comment-770 Child custody issues seem to be getting more and more protracted and combative. As a behavioral scietist and counselor, I am seeing the court system making some very strange decisions in blatant abuse cases from both sides. Using the children as leverage to control and manipulate the ex-spouse is commonplace but using children as objects of lust and a desire to "pay back" the ex-spouse is getting completely out of hand. I think quarterly advisory workshops between the family judges and counselors is a must to better understand the complexities facing both men and women in divorce situations as well the the children's needs. Child custody issues seem to be getting more and more protracted and combative. As a behavioral scietist and counselor, I am seeing the court system making some very strange decisions in blatant abuse cases from both sides. Using the children as leverage to control and manipulate the ex-spouse is commonplace but using children as objects of lust and a desire to “pay back” the ex-spouse is getting completely out of hand. I think quarterly advisory workshops between the family judges and counselors is a must to better understand the complexities facing both men and women in divorce situations as well the the children’s needs.

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