Comments on: How to Save Your Child and Yourself from the Devastating Effects of PAS http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/how-to-save-your-child-and-yourself-from-the-devastating-effects-of-pas/ The Complete Parent's Guide to Children and Divorce Thu, 24 May 2012 02:01:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: diane http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/how-to-save-your-child-and-yourself-from-the-devastating-effects-of-pas/comment-page-1/#comment-19 diane Mon, 05 Mar 2007 14:17:16 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=174#comment-19 The accusation of PAS towards a loving custodial parent who is truly fearful of abuse from estranged spouse is used more often then not…. PAS give some people who are narristic a way around the system. If you put your children last, move away from them, and were downright abusive to them as well as their mom~~~ is it PAS when they reject that parent? Even children have limits as how much they can handle from a parent who plays hand games, make accusations and blames the other parent for lack ability to parent or be in a marriage. Children should not be put in the middle. They are not objects to be shared, but should be protected, love and guided. I read the book Divorce poison…. I do not agree with the book or Richard Garnder theories. Children reject parents because they leave, because they are abusive, because they put adult relationships before their parental relationship with their children. There are two side to this issue, and to be fair you should present both sides. It is ironic that the parents accusing the custodial parents at times is really the one who is implementing PAS… that is standard operating procedure for my ex… instead being with his children, invested in them, he spend the time telling them how bad I am, how the divorce is my fault too, and all about his new life without them. I avoid contact with him because he is abusive to the extreme… and he continues with this kind of abuse…. I think PAS is a great smoke /mirror for a narristic ex spouse to use… they do not need it. The children need loving , kindness, not abuse. I strongly state look at book sides. Alec Baldwin is a prime example of this… no man should ever talk to a child, his daughter that way , not matter what. Adult need to model self control. Verbal abuse does not happen one time, that is a pattern of behavior. I cringed, and winced hearing his voice and threats…. that is what I endured for hours on end and tried to protect my kids from. Do not give the abusive parents the blanket of PAS to cover themselves with… they need help, not an excuse to continue abuse and then blame there EX spouse. Some behaviors while forgiven or not forgot… children need strong boundaries to protect themselves from raging madness of such anger. The court fail a lot. Parent fail a lot. I am all for protecting the children…. Show both sides please for the children! I am so tired of PAS excuse for being a poor excuse of a human being. The accusation of PAS towards a loving custodial parent who is truly fearful of abuse from estranged spouse is used more often then not….
PAS give some people who are narristic a way around the system. If you put your children last, move away from them, and were downright abusive to them as well as their mom~~~ is it PAS when they reject that parent? Even children have limits as how much they can handle from a parent who plays hand games, make accusations and blames the other parent for lack ability to parent or be in a marriage.

Children should not be put in the middle. They are not objects to be shared, but should be protected, love and guided. I read the book Divorce poison…. I do not agree with the book or Richard Garnder theories. Children reject parents because they leave, because they are abusive, because they put adult relationships before their parental relationship with their children. There are two side to this issue, and to be fair you should present both sides. It is ironic that the parents accusing the custodial parents at times is really the one who is implementing PAS… that is standard operating procedure for my ex… instead being with his children, invested in them, he spend the time telling them how bad I am, how the divorce is my fault too, and all about his new life without them.

I avoid contact with him because he is abusive to the extreme… and he continues with this kind of abuse…. I think PAS is a great smoke /mirror for a narristic ex spouse to use… they do not need it. The children need loving , kindness, not abuse.

I strongly state look at book sides. Alec Baldwin is a prime example of this… no man should ever talk to a child, his daughter that way , not matter what. Adult need to model self control. Verbal abuse does not happen one time, that is a pattern of behavior. I cringed, and winced hearing his voice and threats…. that is what I endured for hours on end and tried to protect my kids from. Do not give the abusive parents the blanket of PAS to cover themselves with… they need help, not an excuse to continue abuse and then blame there EX spouse. Some behaviors while forgiven or not forgot… children need strong boundaries to protect themselves from raging madness of such anger. The court fail a lot. Parent fail a lot. I am all for protecting the children…. Show both sides please for the children! I am so tired of PAS excuse for being a poor excuse of a human being.

]]> By: Helen Burton http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/how-to-save-your-child-and-yourself-from-the-devastating-effects-of-pas/comment-page-1/#comment-18 Helen Burton Mon, 01 Jan 2007 14:16:59 +0000 http://yourchildyourdivorce.com/wordpress/?p=174#comment-18 This information is extremely helpful and easy to understand. Thank you for the website! This information is extremely helpful and easy to understand. Thank you for the website!

]]>